I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize