today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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