Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
