Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
