Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
What a dumb baby whore.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
