Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Text me some of your sweat
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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