She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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