also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
