Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
