Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???

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  (818): Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe??? http://tfl.nu/qjrf
  Replies (3) Good night (2219) Bad night (738)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  wow.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, it was that bad.

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  (215): i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me" (267): wow. (215): yeah, it was that bad. http://tfl.nu/hwqj
  Replies (18) Good night (629) Bad night (4260)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.

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  (402): Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR. http://tfl.nu/vjij
  Replies (25) Good night (7285) Bad night (827)
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  (310): View more from California

  His dick was poking my bladder. That big...

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  (310): His dick was poking my bladder. That big... http://tfl.nu/xupw
  Replies (34) Good night (7613) Bad night (1364)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.

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  (404): considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out. http://tfl.nu/gm4o
  Replies (14) Good night (1348) Bad night (3210)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher

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  (516): i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher http://tfl.nu/pmh4
  Replies (5) Good night (2306) Bad night (974)
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  (607): View more from New York

  There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.

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  (607): There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober. http://tfl.nu/pncu
  Replies (2) Good night (2990) Bad night (824)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.

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  (412): You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it. http://tfl.nu/867s
  Replies (3) Good night (1728) Bad night (773)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  we should probably just go check in at the police station right now

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  (814): we should probably just go check in at the police station right now http://tfl.nu/dhxr
  Replies (8) Good night (1454) Bad night (622)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food

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  (978): i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food http://tfl.nu/q8kr
  Replies (7) Good night (1039) Bad night (1339)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried

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  (781): I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried http://tfl.nu/enjc
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (1058)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying

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  (330): I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying http://tfl.nu/l6qe
  Replies (6) Good night (356) Bad night (689)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house

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  (503): Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house http://tfl.nu/makx
  Replies (5) Good night (832) Bad night (351)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

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  (701): Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard. http://tfl.nu/ybia
  Replies (17) Good night (2443) Bad night (426)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.

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  (402): I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that. http://tfl.nu/01r4
  Replies (11) Good night (619) Bad night (344)

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