Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.