I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.