party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize