They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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