Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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