I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize