But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.