girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
