Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.