Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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