why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize