just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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