You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
