okay pat passed out under dana's car
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
