There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
