u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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