My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize