Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
