I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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