You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Oh god it's open bar.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
