Hey man sorry I got all grabby
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
