Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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