Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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