Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My bed smells like the plague
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
