what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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