My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Porn is love you can see.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
