Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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