3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
