oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery