mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
