all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between