you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...