remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?