Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now