Sponge bath it is.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
