Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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