i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
