That's intense
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
