dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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