I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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