I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
