i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
