I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
