Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
