booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
