It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
