what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
