I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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