I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
