i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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