You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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