What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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