Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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