At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
