That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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