last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
