Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
