as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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