Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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