I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
then he tried to convert me to islam
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
