maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
