at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
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I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
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If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize