I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
