how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
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