i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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