they need to just BURY HIM!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
